Are your "hacks" not hacking it?
Recently a couple of clients have shared that they are using a number of hacks and other supportive practices from time blocking to gratitude journaling but aren’t really seeing a change. More importantly, they aren’t feeling a change. So what’s going on? This dynamic is a sign that you need to shift your focus from the doing to the being. As Americans working in the corporate world, we are amazing at “getting things done” but we often are less connected with what's going on below the surface.
What do I mean by doing versus being? I love this definition by coach Alex Carabi, “Doing is what you do. It’s the actions you take. It’s the decisions you make. It’s your behavior and all its visible manifestations. Being is who you are. It’s what’s underneath all of the doing. It’s your qualities, your thought patterns, and your conditioning. It’s the pattern of beliefs that you hold about yourself and your environment. It’s your worldview.” Oliver Burkeman's book “Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals” also gets at this distinction. The book is not a compendium of time management hacks (doing) – it’s a guide about how to reorient your relationship with time (being).
How can you lean into the “being” more?
Self-awareness: Developing your self-awareness will help you to understand what “being” YOU is all about. I am a huge fan of cognitive behavioral therapy to begin the journey of self-examination. Therapy is an important step to understanding the story of your life that created your motivations, worldview and blind spots.
Mindfulness: Mindfulness is an incredible tool to help you shift from doing into being. Among other benefits, a mindfulness practice will train you to respond instead of react. You will learn to create the pause for reflection that allows you to check in with yourself and thoughtfully respond instead of react. In that response, you are more likely to be acting in accordance with your values, i.e. acting from a state of being.
Living from your values: Being is a state of mind in which your values and identity are expressed with integrity. There’s a great example of this in James Clear’s "Atomic Habits". (I am paraphrasing his work – definitely check out the book, it’s a great read!) The idea is that instead of setting a goal of, for example, “not eating junk food”, you will be more likely to reach your goal if you reframe it as “being a healthy person”. See that shift from doing to being? Before you reach for the junk food, you would ask yourself “what would a healthy person choose to eat right now?” By making healthy choices, you now have the identity, a state of being, as a healthy person. In a broader context, look for ways to embody the qualities you want more of in your life rather than adding another to-do to your list.
Working with a coach is also a great way to examine your relationship with doing and being. Reach out if you would like to explore!
